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September 12th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
What is the meaning of life?
Posted by The Foo in Life through my eyes

This past couple of months, I have been following the interesting journey of The Lost Girls. This is a real live journey of 3 successful women from New York who gave up their media jobs, boyfriends, apartments, families and beloved Manhattan to embark on a year long journey of the world.

Citing quarter-life crisis, it is a gutsy move on their part but also a reality of what is happening in the working world today. Who really cares about mid-life crisis anymore – that is so outdated. The world is such that everything is so pressured, a lot of demands are made of you, and you are almost expected to keep up with the hustle and bustle such that you don’t really have time to carve your own image and instead of being who you aspire to be – you are instead becoming a product of someone else’s expectations. With that, dreams are often suppressed and buried under other so called priorities. Such is society and the way of life in the modern world – there is no such thing as simplistic and ideological thinking anymore – everything is so text-book driven, and we are subconsciously doing things because we are told it is the right way to do it. The world is becoming a place where not many think freely and outside the box anymore. Lateral thinking is almost non-existent and thrown out the window.

So that’s what I have, a quarter-life crisis. Although I am a little past that quarter life age, I truly still believe that I am experiencing it. I never knew that “quarter-life” crisis was a reality… I found myself trying to reassess my life not too long ago, “is this where I would like to be” … “where am I going in life” … “am I appreciated” … “what do I actually want out of life” … are the questions that I asked. The answer to it is, I don’t really know – I am still trying to find that answer. So when I see something like The Lost Girls, I am at least comforted that it is not just happening to me but to other people too. I am sure a lot of people out there are drowned within the corporate world, swimming in a pond full of other big fishes – being the smallest/ most minuscule organism there is.

One of my blog friends actually mentioned something that kind of stuck in my mind when she said “I don’t really want to live in a Dilbert world“. Is that what it actually comes down to? People often frown first when hearing those who have gone to school to do a particular major, worked for a number of years and one day just stop completely to change careers – I admire and respect that tremendously. I state two examples – a person I know having a good finance job, going to school wanting to be a musician and another that had a corporate human resources job and quit to be a teacher.

Don’t get me wrong, my family life is great and I love my wife dearly (more than anything in this world) but there is the other missing part from me. So within a world where Paris Hilton (who already has a lot of money) but earning more doing a reality show about her living the “Simple Life” and living “below her usual means”, where socialites have a “career” grabbing the headlines introducing the latest hotspots and latest in fashion is big news, I have to think what really is my mission in life, where I stand and what direction I want my life to take. Am I having a Jerry McGuire breakdown? I have reached that same set of crossroads in my life – maybe I need that robot as in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy to “tell me what is the meaning of life” or do I have to find that out myself?

(Pictures are of Bob, my cube man that goes to work and sits at a desk surrounded by 4 grey walls and stares at the computer monitor 8 long hours with a half hour unpaid lunch break)


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  • Foo,

    I read this this morning and couldn't help but add it. I know you've been here before, but this was in the archives and spoke to me. I hope it is something you can use, too: http://puppytoes.typepad.com/puppytoes/2006/07/...

    I also loved the story Margie posted. Says a lot, doesn't it?

    Cheers!
  • Angela D.
    We all know how I feel about this. Rather than listen to me ramble on and on, I would like to quote Madonna on this one. "We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl". She is that, for sure, but until parents step up to the plate, tell their kids NO, ditch the designer duds and cook a meal....I think everyone should have a quarter life crisis as often as possible. What better way to constantly re-evaluate the meaning of life than by giving yourself feedback on your hopes, dreams and abilities. Only when you know your own true strengths will you be best able to do what is best for you and your family as well as the community at large.
  • nea
    haha, easy to say, just wait till you go through mid life crisis and then rethink this.........you have ALL those pressures AND mid life crisis.......
  • For everyone that didn't come directly from Dr. John's blog, his website address is http://fortresslinna.blogspot.com/2006/09/one-r...
  • I know it's been passed around a million times, but the phrase that comes to mind is, "Remember that life is a journey, not a destination." Once I realized that the daily grind/journey WAS the reward, a new world opened up for me.

    Of course, I quickly shut the lid on it because who can stand that kind of greatness on a daily basis?! Now I just let it out in small doses. :-) Kind of like Pandora's box.

    And you rock, Foo. Everyone should know it. Just shows that that Dr. John guy is a smarty. Guess I'll have to go and check him out!
  • Wow! I don't know where to even start with so many people leaving priceless comments and advice. I almost fell off my chair when I saw this many comments posted!

    I am comforted once again by the fact that some of you are in the same boat, so you know what I am feeling. I'll have to read everyone comments again as they are really well thought out comments too. I think I have taken a big step by actually identifying that something missing in my life (instead of ignoring it), the next step would be to really see what I can do to fill that void.

    I was kind of questioning why most of you were mentioning Dr. John in their posts but finally understood why when I went to his blog. Thank's Dr. John, for making my blog your "Link of the Day". Nevertheless, thanks to all that have taken the time and effort to comment - it is much appreciated.

    Maybe, Bob the Cubeman will someday find himself "at peace" ;-).

    Come back to visit again sometime - you are always welcome at The Foo Logs. Cheers everyone and have a good rest of the day!
  • Sue
    Are we all in the same boat? Too much to do. I'm well into the mid-life crisis thing.. Retirement is looking awful good. There is no time in my life for work, at least not 40 hrs a week, week after week. Dr. John needs to give us some input on how to get back to basics.
  • And, because I just can't shut up about this topic:

    Being the idealistic English major that I am, I've been doing stupid shit like running off to Santa Barbara with my boyfriend and packing it up (or in) on a consistent basis since I blissfully reached the legal age of 18. 18 years later, I think I'll still be able to stave off the mid-life crisis (since the chance for a quarter-life one has come and gone) because, much to my parents' chagrin, I've pretty much always done it my way (thanks Frank Sinatra!).

    My choices have sometimes been pretty awful, but they've always been mine, and fortunately I've never been in a position where I couldn't fly my finger in the face of "the man," which I think is where a lot of this crisis angst begins. Of course, I haven't actually flown the finger (yet), just submitted my resignation . . . nicely. And on paper.

    What are you working for? If you (the universal "you," not "you" in particular, Foo) don't have a good answer for this, you're basically hosed and need to go FIND an answer. (Think Billy Crystal in "City Slickers.") Life is short. Make it count.
  • OMG. That's ME in my cubicle! Only I don't look quite like that. I don't wear a tie to work. It's my first cubicle, though, so it's not all so bad. I may work my way back up to an office with a window someday {{sigh}}.

    Wasn't it Toni Braxton who sang, "I've been around the world and I, I, I, I -- I can't find my baby"? My thought is, "Why the hell would she not know where her baby is?" "Why would it be in China as opposed to, say, Ireland?" Where's Jack Handy and his Deep Thoughts when you need them?!

    In all seriousness, life without meaning simply sucks. There are all sorts of good books on this topic. My favorites are "Man's Search for Meaning," by Viktor Frankl, psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor and Erich Fromm's "The Art of Loving," both of which were written before the modern pop-psych movement and don't have some of the marketing hype associated with more recent works that tackle the same subject (IMHO).

    It's like the lyrics to "Nature Boy" say, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return."

    Peace, out.

    ~ A

    p.s. In my several years on studying the way loving adds meaning to our lives, I have learned that it's not what *you* think would be the loving thing to do but rather what is *actually* loving that matters. Many times, they are two very different things.
  • You got the right idea, though: do something artistic and simple.
  • I started reading their blog, and then totally forgot about it. I will have to get back over there to check them out.
  • lorilinna
    Sent by Dr. John, a guy randomly selectls blogs for his readers to enjoy.

    Why is it so hard to lead the life we want? I for one and living my liife the way I want to and sure there are times I want to do other things but cannot. For instance, I do not sign my kids up for every sport every night so we are running ragged. We spend most nights at home playing games, watching tv and being together.

    Now, my youngest started school so it is time to start a new chapter for me to do the things I have been longing to do but could not because I was taking care of him. I believe we can have it all, just not all at once. Can you imagine how budy we would be if we did get it all at once?

    Anyway, have a good day...
  • Catch
    I was once in that world.....I walked out on my job of 12 years, started my own business and havent looked back! Now I deal with elderly people, its much easier,all they need is someone to look after them and listen to them...and they have wonderful stories you can learn a lot from. I now enjoy my job!!!! Im here from Dr Johns blog
  • I've been having those same kinds of thoughts and feelings for about 2 years now, but at 42 I guess it's a mid-life, rather than a quarter-life, crisis. I like the way you expressed it..."becoming a product of someone else's expectations." That's exactly how I feel sometimes. I'm trying to figure out who I really am and what I really want to be doing.

    Got pointed here by Dr. John. You're his link of the day.
  • Hi there, that is a wonderful thought provoking post. I thought I'd include this little story to inspire you:

    One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the hope of catching a fish.

    About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working hard to make a living for himself and his family.

    "You're not going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman, "You should be working harder rather than lying on the beach!"

    The fisherman looked up, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"

    "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.

    "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.

    The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"

    "And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.

    The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.

    "And then what will my reward be?"

    The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let your employees catch fish for you!"

    Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"

    The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach, looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!"

    The fisherman, still smiling, looked up and said, "And what do you think I'm doing right now?"

    Take care! -Margie (sent via the Dr. John Mothership)
  • Never give up, never surrender. All I know is that so much in life depends upon being in the right place at the right time. Funny how in a moment of time, turning right instead of left can make all the difference.

    Dr John awarded me a doctorate in Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained. He recommended your blog as today's daily read.
  • Interesting post, sometimes though it's not about having the guts to break out of the box, it's whether you want to, or whether you are doing it for the right reasons. I am a contented individual, leading what will be for most, a pretty boring existence, but hey, it works for me. Dr John sent me.
  • oops- I forgot to mention that the wise Dr. John made you his link for the day and I followed his advice to visit you.
  • I know of several people who changed around their life. I think this takes a lot of courage. There was a man who was in constrution and making a very good living and he dropped that went to school to become a pastor, and after many difficulties has become a pastor.
    Another family did this he was making good money as a lawyer and he gave that up and came up to our town which is small.
  • Our lives are far too frantically paced, and for what? Where, in the end, does all the hustle and hurry get us? It does not bring us peace but still we continue to do it. You are young- take your shot now and don't look back. Money and success are worthless if you are not happy.
  • morning. in my kids old school, one of the families decided one day to sell everything. cars, house etc...he quit his job and she hers and they talked the school to let them follow the curriculum for the kids over the internet (private school) and off they went to travel the world. 2 adults and 3 kids having the time of their life..they would send us wkly updates as we were all friends and the kids ended up with such a hands on learning...of course they were wealthier than your average Joe so that helped alot...but i was and would do something like that in a heart beat..take off, little material things to weigh you down and live life at it's fullest..i'm sure my 5 kids would go for it too...Oh btw, Dr. John send me, you are his link of the day.
  • Yep, Yep and Yep

    I think you have summed up my working life very well. I work for IBM in the UK and its just like a Dilbert World. Questioning and independant thinking gets you nowhere, the people that progress are those that tick the boxes but dont do any REAL work. At the moment they are are running a seminar on Innovation. I find this ironic as they quash any part of you that might lead to having ideas.

    As far as I can see the only thing we can do about it if we dont like it, is to have the balls to step off. Stop turn around and go another way. Give ourselves and our families some time again. To do this though will mean a life change and a huge financial hit. People are doing it more and more though. This is crazy when we are burning out and almost ready to retire by the age of thirty.

    If you are really this bothered think about what you can do to change it. I'm looking into working from home and moving down to the coast, its a compromise but i'm hoping it'll work for us. It'll save me lots of money in comparison with living near London and getting caught up in its materialistic way.

    I seem to have been on a mission with this one, i'm very sorry. Must have struck a cord with me I guess. Nice post though.
  • No cubicle and I'm way past the quarter life crisis mark but stess I know. What a week.
  • That's so cool that you have a cube man.

    I've been thinking about those pressures and stuff lately.
    On the radio this morning they were saying that too much is expected from children and they are expected to learn too much while their brain doesn't have time to develop through creativity.
    Lately I've been feeling pressured to get things done and do certain things. Yesterday I was so panicky about all the stuff I didn't have time to do because of a busy weekend that I didn't go to work and I got those things done. I feel better for it today, but for crying out loud! I only go to work three days a week. I'm planning on going back to uni and finishing my last two years of uni. How will I cope? What if I have to work? I don't know how people live their lives and fit everything in. I crumble under the pressure.

    I don't know what the answers are. I'm pretty sure they have something to do with Jesus and little to do with the number 42.
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